Yes, the feuding families.
Tonight, a mini-series airs on the History Channel. I’m over the moon excited about it.
‘Cause I’m a Hatfield.
Here’s how I fit into the family:
William Anderson “Devil Anse” Hatfield >> Robert Hatfield >> Craig Hatfield >> Lula Hatfield >> Gran >> My Dad >> Me
When I was in college, a sweet, dear friend had a funny reaction when we were talking about it. I think she said, “SHUT UP! I thought that was just a cartoon!”
Sadly, that’s what most people’s idea of the feud is. Or, they buy into the stereotypes of “ignorant hillbillies” that are too stupid to let the law handle things, so they took it upon themselves to bring others to justice. Some think it’s an overblown reaction to a fight over who owned a hog.
The reality is, it is much, much more complicated than that.
Lula Hatfield was my great-grandmother, whom I called “Nanny.” She passed away when I was 15. I remember her telling us about the feud. She was old enough that she was still alive when “Devil” Anse & Levicy Hatfield were still living. (Remember, he’s her great-grandfather.) She told me about how she remembered Levicy coming to visit them. She handed down to us the oral history, not only of our family, but also of our state and country.
I am really, really interested to see if the History Channel gets it right. I’m sure there are going to be things that they took creative license with because it is a mini-series and not a documentary. The documentary will actually air later this week, and I’m really excited about that because part of the resources they used are books written by Coleman Hatfield, who interviewed Nanny. I actually remember his visits. If I’m remembering correctly, he taped her when he interviewed her and I can’t tell you how much I would love to have a copy of the tapes, just to hear her voice again.
If you watch the mini-series or documentary, please tell me what you think in the comments.
I’ve nearly forgotten I have a blog.
*Insert crickets chirping*
Mostly, I haven’t written here because I don’t want to write/talk about the stuff that’s been on my mind and in my heart. Like, with the church stuff, I just don’t want to air my grievances on my public blog and then days (months? years?) later, a friend from that church find my blog and be totally shocked to read what I’ve written.
The other part of it is, I’m trying to figure stuff out. Since October, I’ve been to several doctors and have been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom (PCOS). That’s not bad, really. But it does finally answer the question of why I am SO tired in the afternoons. Turns out, you get sleepy when your blood sugar tanks. The PCOS diagnosis is great since another doctor thought I had a pituitary tumor.
The other thing is, you don’t feel like doing things you enjoy when you’re depressed. I’ve debated about whether or not I should write about it. But it’s not something I should be ashamed of, and I think depression and any mental illness has been taboo for too long, especially among Christians and church circles. It’s not because I haven’t prayed enough or trusted enough or don’t have enough faith. It’s a chemical imbalance in my brain triggered by my Gran’s death. Grief is powerful, and I’ve always known that her passing would be hard on me, but I never imagined it would be this hard. In October, I realized I needed to do something when one day I didn’t want to pick up my daughter from preschool. Not because of her or anything she had or hadn’t done. I just did not want to have to get up off the couch and drive. The only thing I wanted to do was be, and mostly, be alone. I called my best friend who happens to be a doctor and she was really sweet about it. But I laugh now and say that only a really good friend can tell you that you need Prozac. 🙂
I didn’t send out Christmas cards. It just felt like I was going through the motions of the holiday season, and honestly, I just didn’t feel like sending them. For the first time in 12 years of marriage. But I tried to allow myself enough space and enough grace to be ok with what I did and did not want to do.
Shari, I’m so sorry I haven’t sent your shipment. If your address has changed, please let me know.
Since January and with the correct diagnoses, I’ve been trying to get used to having to take medication every day, even twice a day. My body is adjusting to the doses and I’m trying to figure out if I feel right with them and if the dosage is right or whatever. Do I need my antidepressant dose to be increased? How do I do a low-carb diet without getting my blood sugar too low? How do I motivate myself to get my rear end off the couch and start exercising? I haven’t found the answers to these questions yet, but at least I’m looking. Compared to where I was this past Fall, that’s a huge improvement.
We’re trying to figure out if I should go back to full-time work. What does that mean and what does it look like? Do I go back to school to become a teacher? Do I try to get in the early intervention program that my youngest was enrolled in when she came home from the NICU? A regular 9 to 5 job? Or do I try to find something to do from home? I don’t know.
I can tell you a few things that we are going to do or try this Summer. We’re going to turn off the cable tv. I’m thinking about taking a break from Facebook. I’m hoping we finally finish the kitchen by the end of the Summer (this requires its own post). I’ve found some projects and ideas on Pinterest I’d like to try. I’m going to learn how to cook completely from scratch with no boxed mixes so we can get away from genetically modified food as much as possible.
So. That’s where I am. If you’ve made it this far, thank you.