>Wow, I’ve been in a pretty foul mood this week. Not sure why. It may be related to hormones, but I can’t say for sure. What I do know is, I have been feeling VERY overwhelmed this week and I haven’t handled it like I should.
I’ve been moody, snappy, short-tempered, and an all-around hot fuse. This is not the way I want to be. I’ve even slacked off in my prayer time (hmm… wonder why I’m feeling this way, in part, at least?).
The other night, I was really upset about something. The thing is, I don’t even remember what it was now. It was probably something related to the state of the house, with extra laundry overtaking everything, as I’m desperately trying to wash long-forgotten, wrinkled or dirty clothes so they are acceptable for donation. I’m trying so hard, but I feel like I just keep spinning my wheels in mud, putting forth a LOT of effort, yet getting nowhere.
So I was mad and looking for my keys. And it was really a thought-prayer: “I know with the way I’ve been acting lately, I don’t even have a right to ask for Your help in finding my keys.” Even the way I thought it was snippy and harsh. I paced back and forth. Then I laid my hand on the dining room table and under a folded shirt, I felt my keys.
Hot tears burned my eyes.
I melted and humbly thanked Him for His providence. And I apologized for my behavior and asked that my heart be changed.
Even in the middle of my muck and my tantrums, God cared enough to help with an itty bitty thing like finding my keys.
“Casting all your care on Him, for He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:6-8
Again and again, I fall flat on my face. Maybe that’s to remind me that it’s not about me, but about His grace and love towards me. My prayer is that I somehow become more Christ-like in my character and actions so that no one has to ask if I’m a Christian.