>I’ve been thinking a lot about my last post and I’ve been thinking about the situation, in general, a lot this week.

I’ve even talked about it Facebook! So, if we are “friends” there, you’ll see that, too. Obviously, I’m thinking about this a lot.

My needing to go back to work full-time isn’t all about the house, although I think it might have sounded that way in my previous post. It’s just my focus right now. Focusing on what needs to be done in a more tangeable way. Because focusing on paying off bills and debt is:

1. Boring, in the sense that you can’t actually see the payoff. Maybe it’s more of a feeling, or it’s the “place” we’ll be in once that’s done (I don’t think this part is making sense… so, moving on…)

2. Overwhelming. With medical bills, student loans still floating out there needing to be paid off, and a mortgage that is considerably more than we had originally agreed to (long story which I cannot discuss).

Focusing my attention on our 35+ year old house is what I am doing because I am living in it and can see with my own two eyes what needs to be done in order to make it market-ready: kitchen update, new carpet throughout, new fixutres throughout, paint inside and out, mending and painting the fence (or tearing it down completely, can’t decide).

The thing is, we are blessed in that we have a roof over our heads when so many people in our country now don’t. We are blessed to have enough food in our freezer and pantry when so many in our nation have to rely on food banks. We are blessed to have not one, but two vehicles and have enough money to put fuel into the gas tanks.

It’s not that I’m ungrateful, but I bet it seems I am. I just want more and better for our family, and I think that a lot of people are feeling that. Maybe not. But, I want us to be able to live as debt-free as possible. I want our financial situation to be the best it can be.

As far as the house… I’d rather live in house we chose ourselves. I’d rather live in house that is free from all familial ties. And legal ones. I’d rather live in a home that is large enough and comfortable for us. This house doesn’t offer any of what I want. But I realize that today, for now, I have to put my wants aside and work towards making a better life for us. Our needs are covered. My wants are intertwined with my goals for our family’s finances. Please bear with me as I try to sort this out.

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