>I was really on the fence about participating in NaBloPoMo. The main reason was time. Between working on the house, keeping the kids fed, bathed, entertained, loved on (etc., etc.), and my part-time job, I was concerned about time. Would I have enough time to commit to a post every day?

Then I began thinking about a couple of things that have happened over the past couple of months. A little while back, one of my dear friends from high school sent me a message through MySpace, basically catching up and updating me on what’s new in his life. At the end of the message he asked a question that made me sit bolt upright, “So, when am I going to see a book with your name on it?”

My gosh, had I ever forgotten about that pipe dream. Forgotten isn’t really quite accurate. “Let go of it” is really what has happened.

When I was in high school, what I really wanted to do was teach, either English or History. I also wanted to be a published author. Twelve years later, neither has happened. For several years, I did manage to use my English degree by doing a little PR/Communications work. And I have been thinking about going back to school to get my Master’s and teaching certificate.

But a book?

My reason for not working towards that for the last long while has been, “Why would anyone want to read anything I would write?” Blogs are different… there’s a connection, a community, networks. But a book is an object that people will pick up from a shelf at Border’s, Barnes and Noble, Taylor Books… they will thumb through it, perhaps read the forward of the jacket, think about whether or not they’ll wage a bet (by purchasing it) that it’s any good. My thoughts, my words, would be out there, in the public…. open to judgement, criticism… or maybe people just wouldn’t like it. Or me. Maybe I don’t have the talent it takes to write a really good book.

The only things I think might be compelling enough to write about are:
1. Things I went through and overcame (I know, vague, but I really cannot get into detail on a public blog)
2. Our experience with Abbie and getting her here, safe and sound.

Not only that, but I can be pretty blunt, to the point of making people mad. The longer I have this blog and interact with people online, the more I feel I should self-censor because I’ve pissed off people I know and care about. If I’m going to write about either of these experiences, I would have to be completely open and honest and I know that there are plenty of people who would be upset about what I would have to say.

I had thought of using a pseudonym, but I really don’t want to do that, because it seems hypocritical to be that open about life experiences and then not use my real name.

Anyway, back to the point… the reason I’m trying to participate in the National Month of Blogging is it will make me write. Some days might be compelling and others lame, but it will get me into the habit of writing. It will make me purposefully put down into words thoughts, ideas, feelings or just nothing in particular. According to one of my professors, a professional published author, that is the most important and vital step to becoming an author. So why not at least give this a try?

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